Post-Graduation Blues, Identity Crisis, and Should I Start My Masters?
Welcome back to I guess…the very first (real) episode of the Twenties Detox Podcast! Today, I briefly sum up what I’ve been up to during the holidays and spills the tea on what happened on her Europe trip back in the fall..
Next, I dive into about what post-graduation can really feel like. The blues. The identity crisis. The existential question of "what's next in my life" is all covered in this episode, along with 3 tips that helped me take my power back while adjusting.
New Years Resolutions & Getting sick 1/2 way through my Europe Trip. ~0:00
Since I recorded this episode around New Years Eve, I begin talking about my thoughts on setting New Years resolutions.
“Honestly, I’ve never really been somebody, who has been huge a New Years Resolution gal. In the past year or so, I’ve been way more into journaling. And I like to do monthly reflections––of what has been working, what hasn’t been working, what intentions I want to set for the next month. it’s easier for me as a person, [to know] how I’m feeling on a month to month basis because, a lot can happen in a year.”
That being said, to not get too specific for 2023–– I do want to prioritize my health more. I have a bit of a low immune system, and although I wouldn’t say I’m immunocompromised, I definitely need to be more careful. Especially during a time like this. Aka. Covid.
I also go into (not to much) detail on when I got sick during my Europe trip––I was in Nice at the time… And holy moly I wanna go back!!! But I ended up getting a bit of a stomach bug on this trip. After that, my gut hasn’t really been the same.
“I would really like to take my vitamins more, figure out how to strengthen my immune system…and gut health. Just do a bit of nourishing in that area of my life.”
My experience with post-graduation~9:20
Hustle Culture & Burnout
At the end of my BSc. Degree, I was completely burnt-out––I finished my last year online in the middle of the pandemic, so after it was all said and done…I didn’t know how to feel.
In fact, I didn’t even get a celebration. The reward for working my butt off after 4 years was sent in the mail. I couldn’t see my friends, and I took it hard.
“Basically, powering through with my willpower everyday. Studying 12+ days. By the end of it, I was so utterly exhausted and also very lost. Studying that much was all I knew…very much immersed in the hustle culture as we will say. I was very much used to the fast-paced lifestyle. And it was a part of the reason why adjusting afterwards was so difficult for me. I was not used to the lack of stimulation.”
Take a Break or Continue School?
Well, you guys probably have a good idea of what I decided…I didn’t do my masters. Why? Because I lost the joy in it. The love for studying. The passion in the field. Although it felt right, I doubted myself for a while.
“[I would ask myself] ‘Have I made the right decision? Should I just go through with my masters? Maybe it’s just because of the pandemic?’ But I knew deep down I needed a break…I knew I was using school as some sort of numbing agent for all the issues I had in my life at the time.”
What was your experience with post-grad?~ 12:30
On instagram, I asked you guys on some insight how post-grad went for you. Were you happy? Bittersweet? Struggling? These were the results.
Clearly, I’m not alone––and for those of you who felt overly sensitive or dramatic, well, I was there with you too.
But, there are a few people who did feel happy about the whole process so I asked if you guys would like to explain further.. let’s dive into that.
For a girl who said that her experience was enjoyable she said, “I jumped right into my big girl job, felt like I made it in a way my peers hadn’t yet, kinda silly)”
First of all—it’s ok to feel proud of getting that job you always envisioned yourself to have right after college or university. Be happy for yourself! And in fact, I’ve found that the people who feel most content after graduation have already landed that job.
The Adjustment Process
Now, for my fellow twenty somethings who have not landed that job—before you start, no, they are not better than you. The reason why it’s easier for them is because they have less to adjust to compared to if someone didn’t get a job in their field.
It’s also why the experience after post-graduation really varies from person to person based on their level of adjustment:
Changing your living situation.
Landing a job in the field of your program.
Choosing to jump right into masters vs. taking a couple years off.
If you want to change careers, or programs.
Change = Stress. Why? Because we’re habitual beings. The more stress, means the harder it will be after graduation, but don’t let that discourage you! Keep reading to see my top 3 tips on how to make the adjustment after graduation easier.
My 3 Tips for Adjusting to Post-College Life and Work ~26:00
01. Find compassion for yourself.
I found one of the best things I did for myself after college/university was taking some time to surrender to my new situation and let myself feel everything by turning inwards.
I learned a lot about myself throughout this process––and after a couple ego deaths––I felt way more at peace with my situation, and where to go moving forward…
“Don’t bottle it up. Because surrendering also comes with being vulnerable of how you really feel.”
The reason why this step is so important is because you get real with yourself, and learn about your values and desires, vs. what you’ve probably been doing before––based on what society expected of you.
02. Find gratitude for your situation
This step is so crucial.
You can’t just surrender and dwell in the sadness of it all. Once you feel it you heal it. But you gotta let it go. One of the best ways I gain more optimism in hard situations is by writing out the positives of my situation in my journal.
“I wanted to teach my brain that this is a good experience, and not a bad one, by saying how grateful I was. I would ask myself questions like:
– What am I going to learn today?
– What helped me today?
– What added to the quality of my life today?
…Theres so much power of right in the morning––priming yourself that today is going to be a good day.”
03. Build yourself a new routine.
A lot of people said what they missed the most about school was the routine.
To reflect on that, I said, “ It comes down to what you feel is safe. We’re habitual beings. We love familiarity, so if we’re trying to embrace uncertainty––it has to come in bits. And when your entire life is so different than what you’re used to, it will be very stressful for you.”
Some of the routines I include in my life are:
— Night Routine
— Workout routine
— Sunday Reset
— Self-care routine, etc.
Why is this so important? Because routines do not take up willpower. In fact, they should fuel you with the safeness they provide––allowing you to use that extra willpower for other tasks throughout your day.
I’m hoping at the very least, this episode made you feel less alone. This adjustment process will become easier for you, and I know you’ll get through it.<3 xoxo.
Love,
B
